And God spake unto Noah, "Make thee an table of gopher wood, legs eight and pockets six shalt there be on the table, from, the quarries of Wales shalt stone be hewn, and. from the fleece of sheeps shalt cloth be woven, and the length of the table shad Be eight cubits Thus did Noah, and the table was exceeding level, the cushions exceeding fast, and the pockets strictly standard.

And The Lord saw that the earth was corrupt; violence and perversion abounded in television, video games, and rap music And when Noah Begat three sons, Shem, Ham, and Japheth; he taughteth them not the evils of the world Instead the mysteries of the drop cannon and the postman's knock were imparted, and The Lord looked down and was much pleased. And Noah was six hundred years old when the game of snooker came about. Men saw fit to add many Balls to the table, and they were of diverse hues and looked very pretty. And The Lord was much vexed. But Noah was a wise man and playeth not the new game nor his sons. Thus Noah walked with God for generations it was thus. Wise men of great wit drew up the rules and great contests were fought, fabulous trophies were wrought from precious metals to be engraved with the names of champions.

And it came to pass that there dwelt, in the fair City of Bristol, a group of Scribes, Pharisees, and Publicans, and exceeding rich they were. They knewest but little of the true religion, but worshipped instead the graven image called snooker, for great wealth lay there in, rich merchants would lay bags of gold at the feet of the Scribes and Pharisees, and lo, their products would be seen on television, yea, even unto the peak hours.

But the wise men of the True Religion were visited By the pestilence of Bankruptcy, and the trophies fed into the hands of the rich men of Bristol for they coveted them much, having never before gazed upon anything more Beautiful than the £6 10s 0d cup and the, "Lada Cars," trophy.

And Noah was now exceeding old, and he cryeth unto The Lord, "The men of Bristol replieth not to the letters. They causeth men to make long journeys and then they listen but little to their entreatments".

And Noah kissed the earth and said, Lord thou knowest in thy wisdom that some men canst not organise a booze up in a brewery "What shall we do?" And God spake unto Noah, "The Lord helpeth those, who helpeth themselves '