Sing a song of Billiards, A pocket
full of chalk, Four-and-twenty
cannons, Then a double-baulk.
When the break was ended,
Opponent failed to score, I
regained possession And
promptly made some more.

The referee and marker
Marked and refereed;
That 'twas a most exciting game
Everyone agreed.
Jones had only two to score,
I had only three,
Along there came a five stroke
And gave the game to me.

Newman! Newman!
What a cue-man.
How do your big breaks grow?
With cannons true,
And masses, too,
And steeple-chase strokes in a row.

There was a crooked man, And he
had a crooked back; He found a
crooked billiard cue Upon a
crooked rack. He played a crooked
game, And he won a crooked prize,
For although his cue was crooked he
was very, very wise.