Billiard Incident and Humour

• Once when Diggle was playing a match at snooker against Lovejoy, the latter put down one of the balls with a bang. "Don't they count more when they go in like that?" inquired Diggle.
• It is usually the balls that are complained of by professionals, but at Manchester some years ago Williams, when playing Reece, in the middle of a match, asked that the height of the table might be measured.
• The writer was present at Thurston's a dozen or more years ago when Dawson was playing Stevenson and made a break of many hundreds at his first hand. "And I was hoping to knock my new tip into shape," remarked Stevenson.
• Snooker rules are sometimes criticized for their alleged obscureness by professionals, but it is not always that they are acquainted with them, even when they are perfectly clear and simple. Thus Reece, when he potted the blue in a game of snooker some years ago and the black also went down, and Aiken, when he potted a red and the yellow went down, protested against the "seven away" and the "two away" of the referee.
• What is the most difficult shot on the billiard table is a point that has often been discussed. George Nelson, writing in The Sport Post, Leeds, tells of one that he would be prepared to put up to even the best player at two shots a penny, as he regards the making of it (although it was once done by Alec Taylor) as a 480 to 1 chance. The red is on spot and the two whites are in the D. On the spot white a sovereign is placed, and the cannon has to be made without disturbing the coin.
• Aiken had been frequently asked to play in a certain Scottish village, but his terms, when given, were considered by the committee to be too high. Eventually it happened that he expected to be in the neighbourhood of the village, and was able to give terms that approximated more nearly to the committee's ideas. After the match—with a local amateur, who had a long start but was badly beaten—the chairman of the club said.to Aiken: "Ah, but you're a lucky man." "How is that?" replied Aiken, "I only got the scores that I played for." "Yes," rejoined the other, "but if it hadna been for my casting vote ye wouldna ha' been here at all." So that the idea of even the specially reduced terms had evidently rent the hearts of one moiety of the committee.
• The contributor who sends the following little incident remarks that it was recently observed by him, and caused merriment in the public room where it occurred:—It was a wet day, and three farm workers, having an hour to wait for a train, entered an adjacent billiard hall and asked for a table. No. 1 took the spot ball and No. 2 the plain. No. 3, evidently nonplussed, remarked: "This is where you have me." Then, with a sudden burst of inspiration: "I suppose the red 'un must be mine." And to the red he clung until its true locality and functions were explained to him. This little anecdote will at least comfort those members of the Billiards Association and Control Council who were recently referred to by a prominent professional as not knowing one end of a cue from the other, as it is always cheering to feel that one is not quite alone in the world.
• Perfect rotation has set in when the ball rolls pari passu with the bed of the table—that is to say, if the circumference of the ball is, say, 6½ inches, it rolls over once, or makes one complete rotation, for every 6½ inches that it travels forward. In the days when white chalk was used exclusively, a small piece of the chalk some times got attached to a ball, and markings of this were occasionally left on the cloth at regular intervals of about 6½ inches, when the rolling of the ball caused the chalk on it to come into contact with the, cloth.—Riso Levi in "Billiards for the Million."

• In his "Reminiscences of a professional Billiard Player," W. Mitchell, who was B.A. champion from 1892 to 1897, tells two stories of one Billy Moss, of Manchester, a well-known professional player in the 'seventies. In a Manchester handicap Moss was angled with the score 999 in 1,000 up. He went to the other white ball instead of his own, and his opponent said "That's my ball," to which Moss replied "I know that, but I am playing with it." He then potted his own ball, and his opponent, under the rules then in force, had to break the balls with nothing to go for but the red. With his next stroke Moss won the game, although somewhat ingloriously.

  The other experience was against Mitchell himself. They were playing several hundreds up for stakes. Both were playing left-handed, Moss receiving 40 in the hundred. After Moss had lost £9 he said he should play no longer unless Mitchell would bet brandies and sodas on each game, which was agreed to, and the drinks were duly consumed. "They soon began," says Mitchell, "to affect my play, and presently he got me down to 30 in 100 and could have beaten me at evens. Oh, those damned drinks! Moss got his £9 back and £13 more. Next day I said to Moss 'Let us have another game left-handed?' 'No, no, William,' he replied, 'I may be able to beat you at drinking, but I am quite satisfied that you can beat me at the game.

• A well-to-do amateur who had conceived the idea that for a player to have one eye bandaged was as great a handicap to him in a game of billiards as conceding twenty points in a hundred would be, was expounding his views to a circle in a public room, when one of the group said: "Well, challenge the marker there to two games, first with his eye unbandaged and then with it covered, and see whether you can allow him anything." The game was played, and the marker won. "Now then," said the amateur, "do you think that you could beat me with one of your eyes bandaged over?" "I am willing to try," replied the marker, "and I would give you twenty in the hundred." "Done," cried the amateur, and I will bet £10 with as many as like that I win. "The offer was accepted from several quarters, but the marker protested that heavy stakes on the game would put him off his play, although he was perfectly prepared to have £5 on himself. This was at last agreed to, and the marker again won easily. "Now try another with the other eye bandaged," said the amateur. "No," replied the marker, "and for the same reason that made me prevent you from losing your money to these gentlemen. It was my blind eye that was bandaged."