"Who does the Conundrum Column?" asked Minerva, looking up from The Billiard Monthly.
"The what?"
"The Questions and Answers. You know. I think they are awfully jolly. That chap must have a lot of patience to bother about all the people who want to learn things. I couldn't."
"I should think not," I said. "Why, that is the most important work in the paper. It takes a player of some capacity to play Socrates"
"All the same," she interrupted, "I should just love to have a try. It must be frightfully interesting work. Do you think the editor would let me take it on if I wrote a nice letter to him? Of course, I would offer to do it for nothing the first month."
I ignored the question. Minerva learned to play billiards only last winter. I did not remind her of that fact. But it evidently occurred to her. For she went on to say. "I admit I haven't had very much experience of the game; but I've got ideas. You put a lew questions to me and see"
"All right," I said. "I'll go back over the file and pick out one or two winners."
"Not too hard ones to begin with," she suggested.
I searched the back numbers. "Here is one on how to prevent the loss of a ball. The question is: 'In practising what is termed the Gray stroke I soon find myself going for the top corner pockets and am frequently pulled up by finding both balls disappear into those pockets. What is the best way to avoid this?'"
Minerva reflected. "I know. Take a saddler's needle and a strong waxed thread and sew up both corner pockets neatly. If this does not serve the purpose let both balls be removed from the room before the player begins practising."
"That's absurd!"
"It would be effective," retorted Minerva. "Give me another."
I quoted:—"'In standing at the table should the right leg (in the case of a right-handed player) be erect or slightly bent?'"
"That would depend," quibbled Minerva. "Does it refer to legs like Diggle's and Aiken's, or tike Harverson's and Reece's?"
"Don't prevaricate."
"There's a catch somewhere in that one, isn't there?
Why do they specially mention a right-handed player if there is not? Anyway, I give that up. I have not studied legs much in relation to billiards. I thought it was more a question of arms and hands and eyes."
"'Frequently.'" I read, "'when the ball is tucked under a cushion and I have to play on an object ball at some distance I miss entirely, although my aim seems to be all right. Can you explain this and say what is the remedy?'"
"Oh, that is quite a simple one. All he has got to do is to let the tuck out. I mean he must take the ball from under the cushion and move it to a new position further out on the table to give him a better chance of hitting it straight. I always do that myself when I am playing."
"Indeed! So that is how you score, is it?" "Oh, it is ever so much easier playing doing it that way! Have you never thought of that simple plan? You poor boy! Why, it occurred to me almost from the first time I took up cue."
"I daresay. Let us proceed. If you were to follow these instructions what should you be trying to do?:— 'Place the ball on the centre spot of baulk and the left foot beneath the cushion rail. Next make your bridge nine inches behind the ball and bring your cue up against the ball. The upper part of your arm should now be horizontal and the forearm vertical. If the forearm is not vertical adjust the hand to make it so, still leaving the cue touching the ball.'"
"That sounds like a bit out of the Health Culture book," observed Minerva. "What is it about?"
"That is what I want you to tell me."
"I suppose it has nothing to do with the Italian manoeuvres in Tripoli? "she tentatively asked." You are really playing the game?"
"What should you be trying to do, following those instructions?" I repeated.
Minerva moved over to the billiard table and placed a ball in the position indicated." Which spot must I put my left foot o n? "she asked doubtfully, measuring with her eye the height of the table from the floor.
"Beneath the cushion rail."
"Right O. Only do be quick, dear. I can't stand on one leg all night."
"You place your foot on the ground, not in the air."
"Well, why didn't you say so at first. What next?"
"Make your bridge nine inches behind the ball."
'Bring your cue up against the ball.' There"! Now, what is the correct distance from the butt end to hold the cue?"
"How should I know? Don't introduce something new. Let us get on with this first. What am I supposed to he doing posing for my photo like the lady on the from cover?"
"No, my child, you are demonstrating the answer to question 6."
"And what is question 6?"
"What is the correct distance from the butt end to hold the cue?"
"Well, how should I know.... Oh, I see. But, I say. that isn't fair. How can I pass the exam, if you give me the answers to do instead of the questions?"
"As a matter of fact you have not passed," I informed her; "you have failed in every question."